Reflections: Kelly - A great lady I use to call my "best friend"

It's been a long time since I posted here....not that I haven't had much to say, but I say it mostly through Facebook, Twitter, and other social media.

I began reflecting on something tonight...something that I find myself thinking about from time to time...every now and then...which is the special friendship I use to have with a very special lady.  I say I "use to have" because although we use to be close for many years, some type of mental breakdown/trauma caused her to distance herself from me in a very radical way...all this with little to no explanation.   I use to always admire the love and care she had for her friends and for me...I use to look up to her as a type of role model for the sweet, steadfast spirit she displayed.....but then something dramatically changed...whether it was the mental and physical abuse caused by her ex-husband (one can only be beaten and hospitalized so much before permanent damage takes place), or just the pressures of life that made her fall apart....it still hurts to this day that our friendship no longer exists.

I still try to keep up with her now and then...although she has made it clear to stay out of her life (still with little to no explanation)...always thinking the best of her in spite of the way she has treated me...and ALWAYS keeping her in my prayers.  It would be very easy to become hardened and hateful/bitter at the way things ended up and the way she had behaved over the past few years...and even though the words "spineless", "gutless", "manipulative", "two-faced", "gamer", "lier", "deceiver", and "coward" come to mind when describing the way she has been toward me, I just cannot help but love her and have good feelings about her when reflecting on a time long ago when we had so much fun emailing, chatting, and playing yahoo games.  I still read her emails from long ago when use to tell me how much she loved and cared for me and how much she valued our friendship.  Some have told me I should just delete them and never think of them again....but I look at it like the death of a loved one....you hold on to the memories of the good and happy times even though the person is no longer with you....Praying for her everyday like I do does help in easing the pain...and my hope is that God will still richly bless her and prosper her in everything she does.

She was the best friend I ever had...hard to not think, hope, and wish the best for her........this has been my reflection....

Bored....

I keep asking myself why I keep this blog activated...I don't ever really post here...I usually do my postings in Facebook and if not there, I go to Livejournal....but it is a good place to vent, speak my ming, talk to the wall, etc.....not that I have too much to say at the moment....life is good....God is good...things could be better and I am working on stuff right now....but all in all, it's cool! I am thankful for family and good friends.....and I pray daily for all of them....even such ones as were alluded to in my previous blog....

More later....hopefully.... :)

Friendship: Ode to Kelly

For some, "friends for life" seems to have replaced the ideal of a lifelong marital relationship. Of course, there are positive, wonderful friendships that are mutually beneficial to both friends that should last a lifetime. But there are other friendships that are negative, destructive, or unhealthy that should end. There may also be friendships that you thought were going well but, alas, all of a sudden, your friend stops returning your phone calls and won't answer your letters, and the friendship ends. Years later you still don't know what happened, and it haunts you.

It can be hard making friends, and even harder to trust them. It's very hard to find someone who really loves you and cares about you. Ideally a friend is a person who offers love and respect and will never leave or betray you. Don't lose a good friend. It's very hard to find a friend who will stay and they can be easy to lose. If you find yourself in a situation where a friend has seemingly betrayed you, follow these steps.

1. Determine if the whole thing was a misunderstanding. It's easy to get emotional (positive or negative) with friends and you may have rushed to conclusions. Make sure they really have done something wrong, and, if they have, find if they are apologetic.
2. Keep things in perspective. The whole situation may not be as bad as you think. This will make apologies and forgiveness easier to obtain.
3. Be willing to forgive despite your anger. Forgive them for not keeping your trust and not knowing how to treat friends. You may need to forgive them, even if they are not sorry for what they did. This is key to getting past your anger towards them and not harboring grudges.
4. Consider whether or not you want to maintain a friendly relationship with the person. Many times, a friend that betrays once will do it again. But this is also dependent on the situation and the person.
If you find that you no longer want to be friends with this person, sever all ties with them. You don't have to be mean about it. Assuming you followed step 1, they already probably know that you are upset with them. This will make ending your friendship easier.
If you find that you want to maintain your friendship, make sure the other person understand that you feel they did something wrong and you have forgiven them and want to continue being friends -- even if they aren't remorseful.
5. Try to relax and take some time alone. Meditate, shop, dance, do whatever you have to do to make yourself happy. You are more likely to find a worthwhile solution while doing something you enjoy.

Nuggets in a Pan of Sand

I really really like the title of this Blog...I had it as my Blog Name to another account I have that I've been trying to get rid of....it has some kind of problem, so I've created this other account...the problem is that once you create an account with Blogspot, it won't ever let you delete it...*sigh*....so, I can't re-use the "Nuggets in a Pan of Sand" name...ever! Arrgghh! Oh well.....maybe I'll figure it out someday...

I'm at work right now, bored to death! I could use another vacation!