It's been a long time since I posted here....not that I haven't had much to say, but I say it mostly through Facebook, Twitter, and other social media.
I began reflecting on something tonight...something that I find myself thinking about from time to time...every now and then...which is the special friendship I use to have with a very special lady. I say I "use to have" because although we use to be close for many years, some type of mental breakdown/trauma caused her to distance herself from me in a very radical way...all this with little to no explanation. I use to always admire the love and care she had for her friends and for me...I use to look up to her as a type of role model for the sweet, steadfast spirit she displayed.....but then something dramatically changed...whether it was the mental and physical abuse caused by her ex-husband (one can only be beaten and hospitalized so much before permanent damage takes place), or just the pressures of life that made her fall apart....it still hurts to this day that our friendship no longer exists.
I still try to keep up with her now and then...although she has made it clear to stay out of her life (still with little to no explanation)...always thinking the best of her in spite of the way she has treated me...and ALWAYS keeping her in my prayers. It would be very easy to become hardened and hateful/bitter at the way things ended up and the way she had behaved over the past few years...and even though the words "spineless", "gutless", "manipulative", "two-faced", "gamer", "lier", "deceiver", and "coward" come to mind when describing the way she has been toward me, I just cannot help but love her and have good feelings about her when reflecting on a time long ago when we had so much fun emailing, chatting, and playing yahoo games. I still read her emails from long ago when use to tell me how much she loved and cared for me and how much she valued our friendship. Some have told me I should just delete them and never think of them again....but I look at it like the death of a loved one....you hold on to the memories of the good and happy times even though the person is no longer with you....Praying for her everyday like I do does help in easing the pain...and my hope is that God will still richly bless her and prosper her in everything she does.
She was the best friend I ever had...hard to not think, hope, and wish the best for her........this has been my reflection....
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