Friendship: Ode to Kelly

For some, "friends for life" seems to have replaced the ideal of a lifelong marital relationship. Of course, there are positive, wonderful friendships that are mutually beneficial to both friends that should last a lifetime. But there are other friendships that are negative, destructive, or unhealthy that should end. There may also be friendships that you thought were going well but, alas, all of a sudden, your friend stops returning your phone calls and won't answer your letters, and the friendship ends. Years later you still don't know what happened, and it haunts you.

It can be hard making friends, and even harder to trust them. It's very hard to find someone who really loves you and cares about you. Ideally a friend is a person who offers love and respect and will never leave or betray you. Don't lose a good friend. It's very hard to find a friend who will stay and they can be easy to lose. If you find yourself in a situation where a friend has seemingly betrayed you, follow these steps.

1. Determine if the whole thing was a misunderstanding. It's easy to get emotional (positive or negative) with friends and you may have rushed to conclusions. Make sure they really have done something wrong, and, if they have, find if they are apologetic.
2. Keep things in perspective. The whole situation may not be as bad as you think. This will make apologies and forgiveness easier to obtain.
3. Be willing to forgive despite your anger. Forgive them for not keeping your trust and not knowing how to treat friends. You may need to forgive them, even if they are not sorry for what they did. This is key to getting past your anger towards them and not harboring grudges.
4. Consider whether or not you want to maintain a friendly relationship with the person. Many times, a friend that betrays once will do it again. But this is also dependent on the situation and the person.
If you find that you no longer want to be friends with this person, sever all ties with them. You don't have to be mean about it. Assuming you followed step 1, they already probably know that you are upset with them. This will make ending your friendship easier.
If you find that you want to maintain your friendship, make sure the other person understand that you feel they did something wrong and you have forgiven them and want to continue being friends -- even if they aren't remorseful.
5. Try to relax and take some time alone. Meditate, shop, dance, do whatever you have to do to make yourself happy. You are more likely to find a worthwhile solution while doing something you enjoy.

Nuggets in a Pan of Sand

I really really like the title of this Blog...I had it as my Blog Name to another account I have that I've been trying to get rid of....it has some kind of problem, so I've created this other account...the problem is that once you create an account with Blogspot, it won't ever let you delete it...*sigh*....so, I can't re-use the "Nuggets in a Pan of Sand" name...ever! Arrgghh! Oh well.....maybe I'll figure it out someday...

I'm at work right now, bored to death! I could use another vacation!